something simple, like taking a shower with your husband, should be a no brainer. DUH! of course i want to shower with my husband.... or not. most days- or most of the time i would be down. not tonight. tonight was different. because i feel like i ate too much at dinner, and i don't think that camerin should have to look at me and my disgusting body right now. That's literally how i feel. as sick or stupid as that may seem- that is the exact thought in my head.
now i am sitting here- after showering alone- and feeling so stupid about it. Camerin loves me for me, not what i look like, and even more importantly- what i think i look like. i am aware of how much of this is just in my head. but that doesn't matter to me right now.
i ate too much at dinner. and then didn't stop there. i let myself eat a snack like an hour later. i feel disgusting. huge. ugly. disappointed. sad.
tomorrow i must do better.
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