I have had a few hard days/moments this week... And they have given me the chance to reflect and process just what I am actually feeling...
I am kind of at war with myself right now...
I am not unhappy with the way I look right now. I am content with it- however I do like the way I look when I am a little smaller better... When I am more in shape.
The dilemma is- finding the balance.
I feel guilty and mad for wanting to lose some weight- because that feels like it is against everything I have learned. However I know that physically I feel better when I weigh a little less then I do right now.
I feel scared about working out more. I am afraid of getting carried away and focusing too much on my body- however I know I am happier and feel better physically when I am more active.
So there lays the dilemma.
Balance.
I have decided to go to the gym 3 days a week for 30 minutes each day. I think that is balanced. When I remember being happiest and most confident was when I was actively going to the gym 3 days a week.
I will not count calories or "diet". But what I will do is be more aware of my food choices and eat things that make me FEEL good. I think that is balanced.
Balance will be my new goal.
I know how you feel. I am working on the issues of finding balance. The fact you have thought this out shows you are the right track. Thank you for writing this post. It inspires me to keep trying.
ReplyDeletethank you! i appreciate that. i am glad that the mess of thoughts i put on this blog has helped you. :) a week later, and i am still working on this goal, but making progress. i think finding the balance is the hardest part. keep trying- you will get there. :)
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