frustration

i am feeling frustrated. and i am not good with feeling frustrated. it is an icky feeling, and always makes me feel super depressed.

i spent a good chunk of my day today feeling very depressed and down about things that only i can change. I am working on changes those things, but have been feeling.... hmmm... stuck. i think that is the best way to describe it. i need a place to vent about it, and talk about how i am feeling- however i feel guilty whenever i do that. i feel like i overwhelm them with my mundane bullshit that is going on in my head.

i think its really easy to get into a negative down slide, where everything that goes into my head, comes out in a negative way. and that is not who i want to be at all. i work very hard to stay positive all the time, however- there are times when that is really hard to do.

i am making some positive changes. my bestie is going to be my "mentor" and help me get on track with my fitness goals, and develop a positive relationship with my body- and i couldn't be more appreciative of it.

i know i need to carve out more time for the activities and hobbies that i enjoy, and i honestly going to start trying. Camerin has been challenging me to do that more, and i appreciate that so much. He has helped me start drawing again- which feels pretty amazing.

this blog is kind of all over the place, but anyways.