What does it mean...

...when something changes how it's always been...

I find myself re-evaluating. Becoming more distant in a search of self discovery.

For the first time in my life I am thinking about myself first... And it feels weird.

I find my patience runs thin these days. I don't tolerate things as well as I once had. Maybe that's a good thing, but in some ways it feels so wrong.

I used to pride myself on my patience, on my supportive nature. I still do- but it's different now. It's like watching intervention- and giving everyone their final straw.

I have reached mine. I can't enable any longer. I won't. But it's driving a wedge between me and the things I have known my whole life.

These things were once my absolute truths. They were crystal clear. Perfect, unscratched, sparkling crystal. Now I am looking at them again, and seeing all the flaws, the inclusions, they aren't as clean as I thought they were, in fact they need so polishing.

I can't settle for good enough, or second best anymore. I have been doing that forever and it has gotten me nowhere.

I can only hope that those around me can understand. And that the people closest to me don't take offense.

I am living for me.

I don't quite know how to do it yet- but I am learning.