New Chapter-

I have turned a new leaf- or am beginning the long process of it. I have finally decided to deal with my eating disorder in a way that will actually lead to recovery- to freedom.

I started an intensive outpatient treatment a week ago for my eating disorder. I go there 3 days a week, for 3 hours each day. It is the first time in my life that I am actually doing something for myself and doing something I actually believe will lead me to recovery... Full recovery.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel- its dim and small right now, but I know it will get bigger and brighter. I know I can divorce "ED" and that my life will be so much better without him. I will actually have a life.

Imagine that!

I finally fully admit I have an eating disorder, and I am not ashamed of it anymore. I have a wonderful team of doctors that will help me through this and almost more importantly I have a wonderful group of women who feel the same way I do, and understand my feelings. There are few things that feel as wonderful as knowing there are people who truly understand me.

I am hopeful, excited, nervous and scared.

I will no longer use this blog as a place for me to let ED have a voice. I will only fill this blog with Chelsea's voice- her real voice. I am stifling ED's voice, and learning how to use my own.

This will in no way be easy, and I know that I will have moments of weakness. I know my days won't always feel this positive and won't always be good ones. I know the road to recovery and freedom will be long and hard, but I am finally ready to do the work and get it done.

Today is the day that I begin to break up with ED and begin to see the real Chelsea...