i didn't reach my goal- in the slightest. i know i haven't lost any weight, and it is frustrating me so much. i know i have eaten bad, and eaten when i haven't wanted to and i know i have over ate at times too.
Binging is one of the weirdest feelings ever. while i am doing it, i know exactly what i am doing- but i can't stop it. no matter how much i want too. i feel completely out of control in those moments. but there is a comfort in it. because when i am done, i can be mad at myself about it, and be completely justified. i then have a reason to be mad and upset with myself.
I am weak. that is the simplest way to describe it. and it is completely true. if i wasn't weak- i would have lost the weight. if i had lost the weight- i would be happy. if i was happy- camerin would want me more.
my insecurities are running rampant and tearing me apart right now. i can't remember the last time i felt beautiful, cute, sexy, or even just content. i would settle for content right now. anything would be better then this.
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