Christmas

It's christmas and it was a good one. It was actually a really good Christmas.

Eating disorder wise- not so much. I think it's payback for getting off the hook with thanksgiving.

Thoughts are extremely loud. Ed is making sure I hear him. I am trying not to listen, but i can't help it sometimes.

I wish he would just shut up. I love the holidays more then I can explain, so it really makes me mad that Ed has to try to ruin that.

But in the grand overall picture of the holidays- Ed can't ruin or take away why a fabulous time it was.

Recovery record

As of today I have used the recovery record app for 10 days straight and have recorded 4 meals a day.

I am still struggling. I just mindlessly ate a bunch of chips. I won't call it a binge, because it didn't feel like one and I wasn't using the food to escape or numb out. I was just bored.

I need to remember that.

My goal now is to check in on things like that... To check in on my hunger before I eat... Everytime - no matter what.

I feel that Is the next step.

I have also embraced bringing some exercise back into my life. I have done yoga twice this week and some other strength exercises. I am not ready to go back to the gym yet- but I am getting closer.