Project Love Myself- Day 8

its been a rough couple days. i just haven't been feeling well- physically and mentally. i feel fat, gross, etc. and it is bringing me down...and i hate this. it needs to change...

Day 8: Try to feel as good as possible today and not be brought down...

Project love myself- day 7

I took a few days off, to just enjoy the holidays. I had an endoscopy procedure done on the 23rd , which came out good. They gave me some new meds and are gonna run some more tests. Day 6 was as successful as it could be. It was a hard goal and a hard thing for me to handle and deal with. I think I did an alright job. I probably could have done better, but that's fine. I will do better next time.

Day 7- stick up for myself

I tend to back down easily when people say something I don't like or rude, or what not. I hate that about myself. I want to stand up for myself and make my voice heard.

Project love Myself- day 6

Yesterday's goal was to feel beautiful and own it. I am very pleased to say that I think it has been my most successful day yet. I felt amazing all day and felt truly beautiful. It was a wonderful feeling and I can't wait to have more days like that.

Day 6: think about and touch my stomach in a positive way at least three times.

Project Love Myself - Day 5

Day 4 was pretty good. I actually had one of the best nights with Camerin. We just hung out and watched a movie in bed. I was fully present the whole time and it was amazing.

Today I forgot to blog my day 5 goal.

Day 5: Enjoy feeling beautiful and confident. Own it. Truly believe it.

Project Love Myself- Day 4

So I took a day off... Day 3 was fairly successful. Me and Camerin went to a football game- so I was distracted. I also ate super badly and am still paying for it 2 days later. But we had fun. And that was the thing that mattered most.

Day 4: Be fully present- don't focus on the past or future- just the present.

Project Love Myself- Day 3

Thinking of these is proving to be harder then I thought, but that's ok... Some of them will probably need to be done a couple times before it fully sinks in. This is one of them...

Day 3: Only talk about and touch my stomach in a positive way.

Day 2

I think it's been a success, I made Christmas cookies with my mom, my aunt and my friend- and I ate some and didn't feel bad- at least so far I haven't. We had appetizers too- all was fine... So far I am proud....

Project Love Myself- day 2

Day 1 went pretty well. It was a smaller thing for me to not wear my full makeup, but it was important still. I don't think I ever felt fully "pretty" but I felt cute still and I felt confident. So I am marking that as a success. I have been having trouble figuring out what to do for Day 2, all I can think of are the big things I don't like- but I am not ready for those yet. So I have settled on something smaller- but something that still bothers me...

Day 2: Enjoying the food I eat and not beating myself up about it.

Honestly- this one is actually not small and is gonna be tougher then it seems....

Project Love Myself

I am gonna try something new. Everyday for one month I am gonna pick something I don't like about myself and try to change it... Challenge myself to find the beauty and the positive in that one thing. It may be small things or big things. It may be stupid or not seem like a big deal to anyone else- but to me they will be huge things. All of this will be in an effort to help me love myself for exactly who I am...

Day One- Love myself and feel pretty with almost no makeup on.

Change of pace

I haven't written in awhile... Haven't really had much to say or my thoughts in order enough to put them down on here.

One thing I have realized is that I am looking at all of this the wrong way- or too negatively. The whole point has always been to get better and to get to a place of love and acceptance with myself and my body. I am going to make more of an effort on that part now. I think I could be a lot happier and satisfied if I focused on the positives and what not...

That is a new goal. Think and write about positive things- make a change

Back to old habits

I can feel it. Me comforting myself with eating. It's becoming my excuse again. I don't need to feel vulnerable- because I am fat again- or feel fat. I don't need to be sexy or dress up or anything- because I am not those things- I can just eat instead. It will make me feel better... It is there for me... I don't need to try. I don't feel sexy- so I might as well just eat- and make it feel even worse- while I think it feels better.

I think I am in control- but really I am not... I am losing control more and more... Gotta stop the old habits- now....